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| source// wwe.com |
Clear of a winter of injuries and general disappointment, the WWE Universe looks ahead to the promise of spring and the beauty of WrestleMania. There is time to pause and consider how this very strange year could have played out so very differently. Who could have foretold all that awful luck and the return of one prodigal son?
It’s easy to imagine a WrestleMania 32 with a healthy Cena and Rollins on the card, but what if Daniel Bryan hadn’t retired? What if Taker’s streak was still going? What if Bryan Pillman never died? What if some genius never tried turning waffles into dishes and we never had ice cream cones?
All the events of the past year and the years before are the result of a few crucial choices and a few critical moments. Change just one or two things and the outcome is completely different, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, that series of new events exist on what’s called an alternate timeline. Often science-fiction, fantasy and historical literature will use alternate timelines as a means of exploring popular topics. Philip K. Dick wondered what would happen if the Nazis won, the WWE Universe wonders what would happen if Chyna got the Heavyweight title.
With a time-traveling Delorean or phone booth at their disposal, what are the top moments WWE fans would go back and change the course of history for?
10. Iron Sheik Breaks Hulk’s Leg
Background: Long before Terry Bolea ever wore a do-rag to court, Hulkamania ran wild all over the world, laying the foundation for the WWE of today.
After a long, arduous battle in front of thousands of fans in Madison Square Garden, Hogan hits The Iron Sheik with the big leg drop, the ref makes the 3-count and just like that he takes the World Heavyweight Title.
Hulkamania was money in the bank for Vince McMahon but it spelled the death of territorial wrestling for many others. The regional promoters who hadn’t sold out to McMahon before 1984 now found themselves unable to compete with the mass marketing of Hogan in TV and movies. But, and this is almost never a statement you’ll read, if it weren’t for The Iron Sheik being a really good person, Hulkamania would have never kicked off.
What Could Have Been: A very old school solution to the Hulk/WWF problem was dreamed up by Verne Gagne before the title change. He offered the Heavyweight champ $100,000 to not drop the belt to Hogan, and as part of the deal, which was set to be backed by Crockett too, Sheik would break Hogan’s leg in the ring.
Ultimately, Sheik’s allegiance to the McMahons won out and he squealed on Crockett and Gagne’s plan.
Aftermath: McMahon would have had the Sheik black-balled in the industry if not brought up on assault charges for breaking Hogan’s leg. Hogan was on the gas hardcore, so even a broken leg – though painful – would not have been a long term deterrent.
In terms of a replacement, McMahon could have jumped the gun on pushing someone like Andre the Giant or Macho Man Randy Savage to step into Hogan’s spotlight.
9. CM Punk & Brock Lesnar Stay
Background: Things were not so pleasant between The Beast and the WWE in his first run. As a very private, low-key person, Lesnar had a difficult time adjusting to the demands of life on the road and claims to have been drinking heavily and taking pain-killers to deal with it. Playing football for the Vikings was Lesnar’s true lifelong dream and when the opportunity to fulfil it came along in 2012 he left pro wrestling.
No matter how over Punk was with the fans, the love never translated to the higher-ups. People like The Miz, Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton were given more opportunities and Punk wasn’t having it, walking out after the infamous 2014 Royal Rumble for the new pastures of UFC.
What Could Have Been: Had Punk been guaranteed more creative control over the path of his career he very well could have stayed in WWE. If he were treated like a real superstar and given a lighter schedule, the chances of him staying would have risen enormously.
Lesnar meanwhile, would have needed to have the very particular, lucrative and limited schedule that he is on now offered to him 4 years ago.
The Aftermath: Consider the Heavyweight title numbers for the two years Lesnar was out – HHH held it 3 times, Edge 4, Orton 5, and John Cena 10 times. All of those numbers would read very differently with a Brock Lesnar in peak physical condition on the roster. But, had Lesnar stayed, his addictions and depression could have had grave consequences.
Punk’s departure cleared the way for Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns to step into the spotlight. Had he stayed, he would have put in a few more WrestleMania performances and feuded with Daniel Bryan no doubt. The possibility of a Sting/Punk match would have been stunning.
But then Punk really made himself an iconoclastic legend by his decision to step away from WWE, and if he had stayed he may not have the same impact in mainstream media.
8. Vince Loses Steroid Trial
Background: Until 1988, anabolic steroids were legal to posses with a prescription from any doctor. And for much of the ’80’s Pennsylvania urologist, Dr. George Zahorian was an on-call doctor at area house shows.
Inevitably, The Justice Department began investigating Zahorian on trafficking charges for dealing steroids to wrestlers, and once the doctor had been convicted on 15 charges, the government looked to have a solid case against McMahon for criminal conspiracy. Incredibly, thanks to procedural errors and circumstantial evidence, they lost their case.
What Could Have Been: From the start the case was a bit of a stretch. The Justice Department had to prove that McMahon, as head of the company, was pressuring wrestlers to take steroids and conspiring with employees to distribute the steroids.
McMahon himself admitted to taking steroids when they were legal and had there been physical evidence of McMahon arranging shipments from Zahorian’s office or more witnesses than just a few disgruntled, ex-wrestlers the case may have stuck sending him to the pen.
Aftermath: With Vince in federal prison Linda McMahon would assume his role in the day to day WWE operations.
Always the less visible figure in the family business, Linda is as much a driven perfectionist as Vince in many ways. She would face the unenviable task of steering the company through some of their leanest years on record. But, as a less dictatorial figure she could strike more compromises with the talent and management and keep valuable resources from leaving for WCW.
7. What If They Got Clean?
Background: Kurt Angle seemed like the virginity promoting, milk-chugging boy scout for most of his career but behind the scenes he was in tremendous pain from his freakin’ broken neck and a litany of other injuries. His solution to the problem was the one most wrestlers come up with, drink alcohol and take pain medication. In just six years, Kurt was involved in four DUI cases and ultimately was released from his contract in 2006: he’s failed to hit the heights of his peak since.
Jeff Hardy was the darling of kids with black nail polish the world over, but it was his reportedly toxic attitude and love of drugs that led him to part ways with WWE in 2003. While on a successful return run in 2008, Hardy had to drop the Intercontinental title after being suspended for failing a drug test.
Police arrested Hardy on charges of prescription drug and steroid trafficking in 2009. A search of his home yielded a stash of thousands of prescription pills, drug paraphernalia and steroids. The charismatic enigma pled guilty to the charges and spent ten days in jail in 2011, he was also put on two and a half years probation and fined $100,000.
What Could Have Been?
Hardy’s drug suspensions kept him from winning the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania XXIV, he was booked to win it before his suspension was announced.
Kurt Angle has always said – and he is pretty much right in saying it – that had he kept his nose clean he would be where John Cena is today.
The Aftermath: Apologies to Dixie Carter but if it were not for the greed of wrestlers for drug money and time in the ring, TNA would not have a lineup. Jeff Hardy, Angle and Scott Hall have all been through TNA’s doors in pretty bad condition.
If Hardy were sober he could have at least delivered at A- performance with Sting at Victory Road. Angle could have dominated a few of the years where Triple H and Edge reigned supreme in WWE.
6. Hustle, Loyalty & Pink-Slips
Background: As John Cena busts out twelve-hour workouts in some fitness dungeon, do not forget that he once had a very inauspicious start in the biz. Cena tried out for the WWE four times before they finally signed him.
The gig was to be a jobber or “enhancement talent” in dark matches and getting his ass handed to him every night. This 2003 Velocity match with a clean-shaven Daniel Bryan and John Cena in rather ugly yellow pants really shows how little cache each man had in the organization at the time.
What Could Have Been: Going into a job everyday that you feel like you’re bad at is a universally agreed upon very bad time, And Cena’s failure to win the crowd over was not lost on either himself or Vince and HHH.
In an interview with Brian Soscia, Cena admitted that by 2003, the men at the top were not convinced his gimmick would ever make significant headway with audiences. Even the other superstars were not convinced of his skills and Cena claims he was disliked by most. Had HHH and Vince fired Mr. Hustle, Loyalty, Respect in 2003 wrestling over the last decade would be radically different.
The Aftermath: A fired Cena leaves WWE and possibly goes to the dumping ground of TNA where he becomes the most over guy in the company but still has to lose to fat Matt Hardy on occasion. Taken another way, there’s no reason a ripped, personable dude like Cena couldn’t have an acting career like Jason Statham or Vin Diesel.
5. ECW Signs Ultimo Dragon
Background: In 1995, ECW’s Mick Foley passed along tape of a young Chris Jericho from a Wrestle and Romance show to Paul Heyman, leading to Jericho’s run in ECW and the start of his American career. His partner in that match was Yoshihiro Asai or Ultimo Dragon as he was known in the ring. Trained in Mexico and a worker in Japan, Asai was the perfect blend of west and east, like a sushi burrito.
Meanwhile, Rey Mysterio’s breakout performance in the states was at the 1995 Super J Cup, an event Ultimo Dragon had requested he be booked on. Eric Bischoff first scouted Mysterio when he was Dragon’s partner at the NJPW/WCW World Wrestling Peace Festival in 1996.
Although he would have his own short runs in WCW and WWE, including a spot at WrestleMania, Dragon’s career would never match that of his former partners despite his obvious talents.
What Could Have Been: If Foley had been as adamant about Paul Heyman snatching up Dragon as he was Jericho, he could have easily become an E-C-Dub heavyweight champion. And if WWE had signed Ultimo Dragon in 1996 instead of WCW he could have taken Rey Mysterio’s role as the high-flying babyface.
The Aftermath: While working for WCW in 1998, Ultimo Dragon suffered a wrist injury that cause permanent damage to his arm and took a toll on his future wrestling ability. Had he been working in ECW or WWE at the time, Dragon could have avoided that injury completely.
The inevitable success of Ultimo Dragon in WWE could have paved the way for even more Japanese and luchador talent on the roster. Dragon still holds the record for most concurrent championships in all of professional wrestling, so he’s not doing too badly.
4. Bret Hart Goes To WCW In 1996
Background: Long before The Montreal Screwjob, Bret Hart was being wooed by Eric Bischoff over at WCW. Bret had been a loyal WWE employee for 14 years, only ever missing two shows, but pay was low, and Scott Hall even jokingly referred to Hart as “the $400,000 Champion”.
WCW had big names like Hogan and Savage but what they really needed was a current name like Hart. But while Bischoff was offering millions in 1996, Bret turned him down to stay at WWE for the next 20 years. As money woes mounted, Vince was unable to honor his deal and Bret left for WCW but not before the debacle of The Montreal Screwjob.
What Could Have Been: Had Hart walked in 1996 his position in the minds of the fans and the public would be very different. Bret could have escaped the whiner label that had dogged him for years. He would have been going out on a limb stepping out to WCW before the departure of Hall and Nash that was to follow.
The Aftermath: Hart would have fit very nicely as the third man in the NWO effectively saving the public from having to watch those horrifying Hogan/Nash matches. The triple heat of Hart, Nash and Hall could have saved the group from deteriorating into an old folks home for Hulk’s buddies, potentially saving WCW from collapse.
3. Vince Buys UFC
Background: Referee, human crash test dummy, businessman, Shane McMahon has held many careers over the years. Groomed from childhood to be the heir to the McMahon empire, Shane has also proven to have a good head for business.
In 2001, Shane was adamant that Vince purchase the emerging UFC, Vince considered Shane’s proposal but ultimately turned him down in a move that would cost him billions. He also had the bright idea of purchasing Pride, a Japanese wrestling league in 2006 but Vince shut him down then as well. .
What Could Have Been: Present day UFC is by some estimates more profitable than WWE, having built an enormous fanbase under Dana White. Top MMA fighters like Ronda Rousey draw top dollar and are featured in movies and video games.
For once the McMahons could have had a side venture that was profitable.
The Aftermath: Vince and the McMahon family with UFC money are bigger billionaires on the level of Bill Gates, the Koch Brothers and Pablo Escobar and Linda’s chances of getting elected to the Senate might have been better.
But, some would argue that the real selling point of UFC has always been its authenticity: fans who were tired of watching staged WWE matches were eager to see grappling and brawling that was real.
But then, by involving the “fake” wrestling people, UFC might not have attracted as large and enthusiastic a following.
2. 9/11 Never Happens
Background: Before 9/11 the patriotic roots of wrestling had been turned down as it transitioned from a cartoonish Southern form of entertainment, to a layered, tawdry, violent soap opera. The WWE no longer pushed characters like Sgt. Slaughter or Lex Luger in his red, white and blue skivvies, the new American heroes were pimps, thugs and badasses.
What Could Have Been: If say, the CIA killed Bin Laden at a casino in Monte Carlo in the 80’s, there’d be no 9/11 but a great plot to an action movie and the nation wouldn’t be in mourning. There’d be no need to go to war in Afghanistan and no rush to go to war in Iraq (you know, other than all that delicious oil).
Plus, George W. Bush probably would not have been elected to a second term in office and the entire landscape of media would have been drastically different.
The Aftermath: This eliminates the significance of the September 13th Smackdown, one of the first shows to return to regular programming after the attacks, a fact WWE enjoys mentioning from time to time. You have no nation united in mourning with their favorite WWE superstars, you have no Lillian Garcia singing the national anthem. More importantly, Kurt Angle probably would not have been made heavyweight champion in the weeks that followed.
As much as the performers involve genuinely care about the cause, “Tribute to the Troops” is really a great PR resource for the company too. In a world without 9/11 there would be no tribute shows for the few troops posted in Germany or the DMZ.
1. Ric Flair’s Plane Crash
Background: The Day The Wrestling Died-In 1975, Ric Flair was aboard a small plane with a promoter and three other wrestlers. Just 100 yards short of the runway the plane dropped, hit a utility pole and crashed. The pilot died from his injuries and US Heavyweight Johnny Valentine was paralyzed for life.
Valentine retired one week before he was set to take on NWA Heavyweight Champ Dory Funk Jr. Flair’s back was broke in three places and doctors told him he would never wrestle again.
What Could Have Been: It wasn’t mechanical problems or weather that caused the crash, just human error. The weight of the passengers was aligned incorrectly and to lighten the load the pilot dumped fuel.
Valentine was seated at the back of the plane but switched seats with Flair who was scared of being up front. David Crockett wasn’t even supposed to be on the plane, but offered to go instead of his sick brother.
The Aftermath: Valentine could well have had Flair’s career as he was the top man in the mid-Atlantic territory, and inevitably the timelines of WCW, TNA, and WWE would be greatly altered in Flair’s absence. The possibility of Reid Flair, David Flair or even Charlotte being involved in wrestling likewise would have been greatly reduced.
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